Engel Angel
by Roadkill2580
Summary: Sesshomaru contemplates life, death, heaven, and Hell. As well as Tenseiga, his mother, father, and some thoughts of Kagome. Implied SessKag


Engel {Angel}

Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru or anything else from Inuyasha. It solely belongs to Rumiko Takahashi

"blah" means speaking

[blah] means song

[{blah}] means English translation

'blah' means thoughts

{blah} means POV

(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())((

{Sesshomaru}

I was walking on a dirt path in the forest. Rin and Jaken were following me. I was thinking of the past. My mother once told me, how she had always wanted to be an angel.

_[Wer zu Lebzeit gut auf Erden_

_wird nach dem Tod ein Engel werden]_

_[{Who in their lifetime is good on Earth_

_And will become an angel after death}]_

Then she killed herself only two years after, from all the suffering and the pain. I stood up in her stead. Father had betrayed us. Mother was always good, no doubt she is angel, what she always wanted to be. Father is probably rotting in Hell. He bedded a human whore, and Inuyasha is the result. Father pushed us away. But Father did it in good reason.

_[den Blick gen Himmel fragst du dann_

_warum man sie nicht sehen kann]_

_[{you look to the sky and ask_

_why can't you see them}]_

I understand why Father gave me Tenseiga. I respect him for that reason. He knew someday I would be struck by the Wind Scar, out of my hatred for Inuyasha. The moment it hit me, I felt incredible pain. Only a few minutes before I realized I was dead. I was aware of Tenseiga's power, trying to save me. Then, I seen my mother.

_[Erst wenn die Wolken schlafengehn_

_kann man uns am Himmel sehn_

_wir haben Angst und sind allein]  
_

_[{First if the clouds have gone to sleep_

_You can see us in the sky_

_We are afraid and alone}]_

I seen my mother. She was alone, scared. Clutching to a star. No one there. It was torture. My mother got want she wanted. She was an angel. Then I seen my Father. He was seemingly fine. He was not scared, he was not alone. Father looked like was almost having fun. At first, I thought it had to be heaven. But I seen the wings on my mother. No wings adorned Father's back. So I came to a conclusion: Father knew I would want to follow Mother, but knew of the angel's sorrow. He did not want that and gave me Tenseiga to show me both sides, to let me choose.

_[Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein]_

_[{God knows I don't want to be an angel}]_

Now, I don't want to be an angel. Being an angel means loneliness. I did not want to be alone for eternity. Perhaps in life I choose to be alone, but not in death. But do I have a choice in death? They say your actions will guide you to the place you go in death. So I choose to go to Hell. To burn. To feel pain. Not to be alone. Not to be filled with sorrow. I'm sorry Mother, but for once, I will place myself before you. I will not be an angel like you.

_[Sie leben hinterm Sonnenschein_

_getrennt von uns unendlich weit]_

_[{They live behind the sunshine_

_separated from us, infinte expanse}]_

With Tenseiga, I can see the angels. Rarely. They only come out during the storms. They say that a storm is a sign of mourning. If it is true, the sorrow filled angels only show themsleves in that time. Perhaps the other angels, were sad when they died, like Mother. Mother committed seppuku (suicide). I am alone in life. Except for Rin and Jaken. Before them, I was alone. I do not want to feel that ache forever. I made the wrong choice in life, I will not in death.

_[sie müssen sich an Sterne krallen ganz fest_

_damit sie nicht vom Himmel fallen]_

_[{They must cling to the stars very tightly_

_if they do not want to fall from the sky}]_

I must show Kagome Hell and heaven, she must not make the wrong choice. I do not want to be without her. Jaken knows, he chooses Hell as well. I see humans and demons make the wrong choice everyday. That is why I slaughter them. To show them what they have chosen, I just make them accept it earlier.

_[Erst wenn die Wolken schlafengehn_

_kann man uns am Himmel sehn_

_wir haben Angst und sind allein]_

_[{First if the clouds have gone to sleep_

_you can see us in the sky_

_we are afraid and alone}]_

When I saw Rin, dead. I felt grief, for she must have chosen the wrong way. I revived her, hoping she could make the right choice. She has yet to show which way she will take. Perhaps, it is life we should choose, not Hell or heaven. In Hell, we burn and feel pain. In heaven, we are sad and alone. In life, we feel everything.

_[Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein]_

_[{God knows I don't want to be an angel}]_

I don't want to be angel. Now, I am walking towards Kagome's group. I tell Jaken to watch Rin. I know I will not die today, I have too much to live for...for now. I keep walking, Kagome's smell overpowering anything else. That smell alone guides me to them. My blood begins to rush, anitcipating the pending fight.

_[Erst wenn die Wolken schlafengehn_

_kann man uns am Himmel sehn_

_wir haben Angst und sind allein]_

_[{First if the clouds have gone to sleep_

_you can see us in the sky_

_we are afraid and alone}]_

And I see them, ready to fight. Inuyasha has drawn Tetsusiaga, pointing it at me.

"Prepare to die and rot in Hell bastard!" he yells.

"Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein," I answer. I watch Kagome's eyes widen in horror.

{Kagome}

I seen Sesshomaru walk in the clearing. He looks like an angel. _'A fallen angel'_ my mind finishes. Then I hear what he said, in German.

"Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein," he says. My eyes widened, terrified at his answer to Inuyasha's threat.

"God knows I don't want to be an angel," I translate. Everyone looks at me.

Sesshomaru

"God knows I don't want to be an angel," Kagome repeats, in Japanese. I nod, then turn to Inuyasha.

We charge forward, our fight beginning. I know I won't die. I know Inuyasha won't die. But I know I don't want to be an angel.

_[Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein...]_

_[{God knows I don't want to be an angel...}]_

The End 

(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())((

Yay! I have posted the edited version! Finally! (wipes brow) Hope you liked!


End file.
